Waiting is not forever
by Sum1cooler
Summary: Abstract: Spin off story to "illogicality" dealing with the two taller members of big time rush. Kendall and and James aren't illogical but are they meant for each other?
1. Extreme touch football

This is my spin off story to my main story, Illogicality. You don't have to, but please read the main story as it has a lot of Kames in it too =] and you will understand this story more if you do. This story is about what happens between the chapters of my main story dealing with Kendall and James.

I will tell which chapters is important to the story and a small back story with enough info to read this story but the real thing is a lot better.

I want to thank all the Kames lovers that review my main story. This is for you =].

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><p>Abstract: Spin off story to "illogicality" dealing with the two taller members of big time rush. Kendall and and James aren't illogical but are they meant for each other?<p>

* * *

><p><em>Italics <em>**are thought, ****and **""** are dialogue**

* * *

><p>Disclaimer: I don't own them. Interesting life if I do...<p>

BTW THIS IS A EVENTUALLY SLASH of KAMES. DON'T LIKE, DON'T READ. But do try =].

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><p><strong>Chapter 1 – Extreme Touch Football (happens between chapter 3 and 4)<br>**

**Backstory (chapter 3) - **Kendall and James meet Logan and Carlos in the park. Logan questioned why James been wearing Kendall's shirt. James tries to find an excuse but eventually fails at finding a good cover up.

Arm in arm, Kendall drags a stoned James away from his two other shorter friends. They whiz through the many picnickers enjoying the day, to find an empty patch of grass. Finally finding a vacated spot, Kendall collapses on his back while James is still standing frozen in thought.

"James? Are you ok?" Kendall asks breathing deeply. He snaps his fingers a couple of times. Finally, James blinks and Kendall gives off a huge sigh.

"Oh yeah, I'm fine Kendall." James collapses right on top of Kendall, earning a giggle from the blonde.

"James." Kendall whizzes from the pain. "We are not playing extreme touch football yet."

James laughs and gets off Kendall sitting cross legged. "Of course. If I was, I would have hugged you to death onto the ground and then pinning your hands over your head. That is the rule, isn't it?"

Kendall continues giggling. "That is the rule for the last two years. Funny how when we play, Carlos and Logan never play with us."

James scrunches has face at hearing Logan's name. "It's because that freak of an experiment can't stop obsessing about my shirt." Kendall is in shock at hearing James' anger. He stares at the back of James noticing James' fists turning white from crushing the blades of grass.

"James." Kendall says sweetly caressing James' shoulder with his hand. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing Kendall." James says loudly. "It's just that Mr. Science-Freak can't handle me wearing clothing."

Kendall sighs and sits up straight. He puts two hands on James' waist and pulls James on his lap. He rests his head on James' shoulder. He takes a deep breath smelling James' hair. _A cool icy breeze, I love this smell._ "Now, what is the real problem?"

James puts his hands on Kendall's hands that are wrapped around his waist. He turns his head to look at Kendall's face. "That maybe, you won't let me wear your shirts anymore."

Kendall notices a faint tint of pink across James' face. "James, I don't mind if you wear my clothes. Why would you think I mind?"

"Because Logan is so smart." Kendall looks at him confused. "If you listened to him, you'll figure out that I'm creepy for liking your shirt. And maybe, you'll hate me." James whispers the last sentence and looks down hoping Kendall doesn't look at his face.

Suddenly Kendall pulls James closer vanishing any space between them. James blushes deep blood red as his back fully touches Kendall tone body. "James I can never hate you." He breaths on to James' ear. "You're the reason why I wear those shirts." James looks quizzically at Kendall.

"Every time you wear my shirt, I know that I brought a good looking shirt because my personal model wears them." James laughs a bit. "So if you stop wearing my clothing, I have nothing to wear."

James turns around and hugs Kendall "Thanks Kendall."

He smiles as Kendall replies "No problem."

James closes his eyes when a questions pops in his head. His grin gets wider. "Hey Kendall, what happens if I don't wear your clothes?"

Still hugging James, Kendall pushes James to the ground on his back. He hovers over him, face to face. "Well then I won't have any clothes to wear." He replies winking as the pinned boy giggles.

James flips Kendall over and now lies on top of him pinning Kendall's hands above his head. "Well then, extreme touch football is a lot easier for me to win." He winks backs before he pulls Kendall up to start a memorable game of extreme touch football.

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><p>I'm sorry it is a bit short but as the story grows, the length gets longer. Please review and tell me how I did. =]<p>

Preview note: The next chapter takes place between chapters 5 and 6. So I can't update until those chapters are up.


	2. Why I'm really angry

For some reason, I think my inner dislike for Jame/Logan comes out strongly in the story. lol

For anyone wondering about the title of the story, it will makes sense if you read chapter 6 of the other story, illogicality. That chapter has a bigger portion of Kames in it. The chapter should be up soon.

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><p>Abstract: Spin off story to "illogicality" dealing with the two taller members of big time rush. Kendall and and James aren't illogical but are they meant for each other?<p>

* * *

><p><em>Italics <em>**are thought, ****and **""** are dialogue**

* * *

><p>Disclaimer: I don't own them. Interesting life if I do...<p>

BTW THIS IS A EVENTUALLY SLASH of KAMES. DON'T LIKE, DON'T READ. But do try =].

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><p><strong>Chapter 2 - Why I'm really angry<strong>

**Back story (chapter 5) –** James punched and yelled at Logan for getting Carlos hurt. Kendall calmed him down and told him to wait in their bedroom.

Kendall slides through the doorway silently and locks it. He looks at James walking in circles fisting his hands instead of holding a mirror. He sighs as he walks over to James' bed and jumps backward to lay down making a huge sound, hoping to grab the brunette's attention. Unsuccessful his attempt was, James continues pacing as if Kendall never walked in.

"James?" Kendall questions softly. "What are you doing?"

"Thinking Knight!" Kendall is shock hearing the hateful tone in his voice. He rarely ever hears this tone or is called by his last name; the last time being he "accidentally" threw a Cuda bottle out the window.

Kendall sighs and sits up patting a spot next to him. James ignores Kendall's offer and continues his unusual movement. Not wanting to be nice again, Kendall gets up, wraps his arms around James' waist and swiftly tugs him to his bed.

"Get off me, Knight!" James thrashes throwing his legs in the air but Kendall tightens his hold on him.

"Not until you tell me why you're so mad."

"Really, you can't tell?" James breaks free and stands up staring at Kendall with a scowling face. "Mr. I-am-so-smart and everything just got Carlos hurt! He could have died and in this hurricane no ambulance can come to save him."

"James, we know, he knows what he did was wrong."

"Then why did you protect him?" He retorts with a more intense demeanor.

"Because what good is it if he gets hurt too?" Kendall replies hoping his calm voice might help James cool down.

"No! Logan needs to learn and if beating him up is teaching him, I'll beat him up even if you don't."

"James."

"Shut up!" James snaps. "You're so stupid, Knight." James finishes and walks to the door.

"No!" Kendall grabs his wrist. "I'm not done with you." He says as he pulls forcefully James to the bed straddling him and pinning his arms over his head. James notices the strong intensity in Kendall's eyes.

"I'm not playing football, Knight. Now get off me!" James lashes out trying to throw the strong blond off him.

"Not until you tell why you're angry."

"Obviously I hate Logan!" James spats.

"NO!" Kendall releases all his emotional restraints. "What are you really angry about?"

"I HATE YOU!" James shouts not caring if the whole Palmwoods hears him. Kendall stares wide eyed as James stops moving and cries.

"What?" Kendall questions softly getting off James to sit at his side.

"I hate you." James repeats sobbing his words. Kendall also rarely saw James cries.

"Why, James? What did I do to you?" Kendall asks truly not knowing what he did to deserve his best friend's hatred.

"You cared for Logan." James says to a confused Kendall. "Forget it. I am going to watch Fashion Runway on TV."

"Stop James." Kendall begs grabbing his wrist once more. "Please." He begs softly sounding as if he is breaking down.

James sighs and sits next to him not facing him. He plays with his fingers. "You cared for Logan."

"I care for everyone."

"That's the thing." James whispers loudly. "You care for everyone. Anyone! You care for Logan, Carlos, Jo, your sister, anyone with legs you care for it."

"You're angry because I love everyone?

"No. I'm mad because you don't love any one person. You care for all."

Really confused, Kendall asks again, "You're mad because I care about everyone?"

"You don't love me." James finally sobs out with tears flowing.

"Of course I"

"No! You care for me. You care for everyone." He interrupts. "You don't think of me more than anyone else."

"That's not true James. We have been best friends since we were two."

"And that never stopped you from getting a girlfriend." James says shooting a bullet at Kendall.

"Are you mad that I have Jo?" Kendall asks feeling the pain in his voice.

"No well… no. I'm just frustrated that you don't care for me as much as I care for you." He frowns tipping his head downward letting the tears fall freely.

Kendall kneels on the floor and holds both of James' trembling shaking hands. "I care a lot about you James." James tilts his head to face Kendall's watery eyes.

"No you"

"I wait every night," Kendall interrupts. "Every single night for you to come home to our room before I go to sleep."

"How is that"

"I never go to sleep without seeing you come home safe first." Kendall gently squeezes James' hands.

"Kendall, we have a curfew."

"And that never stopped us before. But I have to know every night that when I'm asleep, you're asleep beside me, safe. Don't tell me I don't care a lot about you. If you're not home, I would run to every single door in this hotel searching for you. Heck I'll ask Mr. Know-it-all to hack your phone to find you. I care for you a lot more than you think I do."

James finally gives a chuckle. "Thanks Kendall. It means a lot." Kendall smiles back and stands up and pulls James into a hug.

"So, you're mad at me anymore?"

"No."

"You don't hate me?"

"I never could hate you." James chuckles again, thinking that it is quite the opposite.

Kendall breaks the hug. "Let's watch that fashion thing you like."

"But you hate that show." James says looking confuzzled.

"True. But I don't hate you." Kendall says with a smile walking out the room. All James did was stand still watching Kendall's back disappear from the room.

"I love you." He whispers before following Kendall out.

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><p>I hope you like the chapter. I felt this might have gone a bit OOC. I hope it was good. Please review.<p> 


	3. Why can't I be like you

Sorry for the long wait.

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><p>Abstract: Spin off story to "illogicality" dealing with the two taller members of big time rush. Kendall and and James aren't illogical but are they meant for each other?<p>

* * *

><p><em>Italics <em>**are thought, ****and **""** are dialogue**

* * *

><p>Disclaimer: I don't own them. Interesting life if I do...<p>

BTW THIS IS A EVENTUALLY SLASH of KAMES. DON'T LIKE, DON'T READ. But do try =].

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><p><strong>Chapter 3 - Why can't I be like you<strong>

**Back story (chapter 6) – **The four of them went on a "double date" and now they are walking back to the Palmwoods under a cloudy night. At the dinner, Kendall and James got into a conversation that Kendall can't figure out his feelings for James yet and James might be getting tired of waiting for Kendall.

Carlos, still enjoying the after effect of eating overly sweeten ice cream, is jumping dangerously ahead of the group. Kendall dashes forward to try and calm the energetic bunny down before something breaks and by something, he means Carlos.

"Carlos!" Kendall shouts running to catch up to the Latino. "Carlos, you can't jump on benches and rocks and lampposts and"

"And you're so boring, Kendall." He interrupts with a goofy grin still jumping on the rocks. "You should try it Kendall. It's a lot more fun than plain walking."

"No thanks Carlos but do you mind slowing down a bit?" Kendall tries to pout. "At least Logan wouldn't have to go all doctor-mode and examine you, again."

Carlos sighs. "Fine but you have to jump on the next rock with me."

"I like my legs unbroken Carlos." Kendall says waving his hands in front of him.

"Fine, I'll jump on it myself." Carlos is about to jump on the rock but Kendall wraps his arms Carlos' body stopping him. Carlos is flailing his arms and reaching the rock with one leg in the air. "Let go Kendall. You're being no fun."

"Carlos, just… just walk home normally please. I have a lot to think of and I don't want a broken leg on my list."

Carlos stops fidgets and notices a melancholy expression on Kendall's face. He stuffs his hands in his pocket in defeat as Kendall follows the same suit "Ok Kendall. I'll walk home."

They walk pretty quickly as the two other friends are no where in sight. It was silent except for the few crickets chirping the night's song. Kendall stares at his shoes while Carlos steals glances at Kendall's slouching figure.

"Did I miss something?" Carlos asks.

"Hm. Oh nothing Carlos. I was just thinking."

"About what?" Carlos pouts.

Kendall chuckles at Carlos' face. "I'm not Logan, Carlos. Your pouts don't work on me."

"What if we play 20 questions? I love playing games." He exclaims slapping on his helmet. _Where did he get his helmet?_ Kendall thinks.

"Nah Carlos, I'm not in the mood for"

"Is it James?"

"James. I mean games. I'm not in the mood for games." He covers his blush hoping Carlos is to hyper to notice his slip up.

"I win, right?" Carlos tries to smirk as well as James. "I look like," he wiggles his fingers in front of his face. "'The face, right?"

Kendall smiles a bit at Carlos' impersonation. "Funny Carlos, but no it is not James."

"If it is not James then what are you thinking about?"

Know Carlos' ending amount of energy, he gives up trying to hide his depression. "Do you think I'm a good person?"

Carlos pauses in thought and motion. "Why do you ask?"

"Well I think I'm the worst person alive. I can't do anything right."

"Hey Kendall. I can walk right?" Carlos asks now walking.

"Obviously Carlos." Kendall answers a bit annoyed.

"Then you're not the worst person. As much as a joy kill you are right now, you're making sure I don't get hurt. I think you're a great leader."

"Thanks Carlos. But sometime I can't think right." Kendall says fisting his hands.

"Not all of us are Logie." Carlos says frowningly. "Not all of us know what we want in life."

"Carlos, that makes no sense."

"Logan has a perfect life. He knows want he wants and works hard to get it. Sometime I wish Logan was a bit imperfect so…" Carlos stops speaking not wanting to finish the sentence.

"So we can feel better?" Kendal finishes raising an eyebrow.

"I guess." Carlos whispers.

"Not everyone wants to be Logan, Carlos. If anything, I want to be you."

Surprised, Carlos asks "Why me? I'm not perfect."

"But you are Carlos." Carlos raises his eyebrow at Kendall's smile. "You're so expressive. You don't take anything to heart. You basically wear your heart on your sleeve." Kendall pauses a seconds and whispers softly "And you know who you love."

Carlos blushes. "I don't love anyone." He says quickly.

"I know who you like Carlos. You're so obvious ALL the time and wish I was more like you."

"At least you have people that love you, Kendall. I can dream all I want but they stay dreams. Until I wake up and it's time for breakfast." Kendall scrunches his face at Carlos' last comment. "What? That's what Logie said."

Kendall laughs at Carlos short attention span. "Carlos you can't go two minutes without Logan."

"Yes I can!" Carlos shouts back blushing a deep red. Kendall shakes his head trying to make his face serious. "At least I don't have two people after me."

"Who are you talking about? I only have Jo."

"And James."

"Stop saying James." He commands defensively.

"Fine but Kendall you have someone that love LOVE you. Why can't I be you?"

"Because truthfully, deep down no one really wants to be me. Everyone wants my image but no one wants to be me." Kendall pauses taking a deep breath.

"Everyone tells I'm a great leader, that I know everything and that I am fearless but truthfully I'm scared. I'm scared of letting people down. I'm scared of embarrassing myself. And I'm scared of hurting the one person that matters to me." Kendall stops walking and stares at the lamppost. "I hate pressure."

Suddenly Carlos jumps and wraps an arm around Kendall causing him to incline on Carlos' side. "What are you doing?" Kendall yells.

"Showing you that you can always lean on me." Carlos smiles brightly. "That we got each other in the complicated world called LA. If you ever feel scared, I'll be there for you. The day you realize that you'll never hurt the one person you love, I'll be there smiling. That I will try to be your pillar like you're mine."

Kendall huffs a smile think how corny hyper Carlos gets. "Thanks Carlos. I might take you up on your offer."

"Psh, what are friends for?" Carlos lets go and runs ahead. "Race you home!"

Carlos speeds ahead leaving Kendall to chuckle to himself. _Maybe one day, I'll be carefree like Carlos. _

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><p>I don't think I'm in love with this chapter. I feel it could have gone better, sorry. =[ Please review and give your criticism. I need to know what to fix. <em><br>_


	4. Nature or Hockey?

Sorry for the wait. A job really does take a lot of time. If I didn't review your stories yet (and I have ~15 backed up), I will do it soon. So my apologies to EvilGeniusBookWorm13, tawneejboyd14, others and especially Tall Blonde and Eyebrows. I like to personalize reviews, especially reviews for completed mult-chapter stories.

I'm not completely satisfied with this. I just finished and proofread twice. So... bit of a warming for ok writing.

Speaking of satisfaction XDXD, Tall Blonde and Eyebrows updated! So happy. I updated for you =]. By the way, I love the latest chapter, Cargan =D. DON'T LISTEN TO GLEEKID! lol jkjk CARGAN IS GOOD =]

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><p>Abstract: Spin off story to "illogicality" dealing with the two taller members of big time rush. Kendall and and James aren't illogical but are they meant for each other?<p>

* * *

><p><em>Italics <em>**are thought, ****and **""** are dialogue**

* * *

><p>Disclaimer: I don't own them. Interesting life if I do...<p>

BTW THIS IS A EVENTUALLY SLASH of KAMES. DON'T LIKE, DON'T READ. But do try =].

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 4 – Nature or Hockey? <strong>

**Backstory: **None is needed. This is purely Kames. This happens during chapter 9 when Carlos is sick.

"Achoo!" Kendall sneezes loudly tightening his hold on his blanket that is twice wrapped around him. His face is puffy and extremely vampire pale. His nose is the deepest shade of blood red. And his eyes are the worst. They are barely open as he feels weak and his normally bright emerald green eyes are now a dirty hunter green. He looks and feels like a mess. There is no way he is faking this one.

"Ok bye Kendall." James says walking into the living room feeling remorse. "Are you sure you don't want me here?"

"Achoo!" Kendall sneezes again rubbing the soft tissue to his nose. "I'm fine James. Go and get that modol paaa Achoo!"

Gritting his teeth feeling guilt, James asks again. "Are you sure because I love modeling your clothes. I don't need"

"James!" Kendall shouts coughing uncontrollably from raising his voice. "I'll feel worst if I stop you. Now go."

"Thanks Kendall." He walks slowly to the door giving Kendall a long moment to reconsider if he wants James to stay. "I'll try to get home as soon as possible. Feel better." He whispers closing the apartment door behind him.

Kendall leans back against the couch letting his eyelids fall. He breathes deeply hoping that that is all he needs to escape the harsh conditions of being sick.

"Stupid Carlos." He mumbles. "If I did not hear Carlos leave this morning, I wouldn't jump in the pool and drag him back. I'm so stupid."

"No, you're a good person." Kendall turns his head to the door trying to muster strength to opens his eyes. Slowly he builds enough energy to see a burry image of someone with long blond hair.

"Jo?" Kendall asks pulling the vowel. He coughs a few times, wincing his eyes.

"Kendall." Jo softly sounds falling to the couch wrapping her arms around Kendall. "Figures." She smiles. "You're the only person that would literal jump off a cliff to save your friend."

"I call that stupid." Kendall sounds leaning his head on Jo's shoulder.

"I call that a reason why I love you." She smiles pulling back from Kendall. "Now Mister, I want to see a smile." She babies.

Kendall swaying side to side from dizziness replies with his eyes close, "I can't."

"Come on Kendall. Smiling takes less energy."

"It's easily to frown when I'm sick. Achoo!" He sneezes again.

"Fine." Jo replies scooting over from Kendall's sneeze. "Well maybe some TV will help." She grabs the remote and turns on the TV to the nature channel.

"Jo, 846" He coughs again slowly opening his eyes watching the TV change from waves crashing against the shore to two hockey players crashing into each other.

"No Kendall." She says changing the TV back. "You need to rest and the nature channel helps."

"Turn it back Jo." He commands raspily.

"Kendall no, hockey is bad for you. You need something to sooth you when you are sick."

"And that is hockey." Kendall quickly replies. Jo huffs and changes the channel.

"Seriously Kendall, hockey is not going to help you."

Kendall moans "it does" inaudibly remembering when he was sick in sixth grade.

**Flashback**

Kendall is lying in bed coughing a storm watching the heavy rain falling on his window. The irregular rhythm of drops striking the window is giving him a headache. He scrunches his eyes and covers his eyes with both his hands. Tears one by one roll out of his eyes as the pain from his cold was becoming unbearable.

"You know Kendall, being in bed won't help." Kendall feels the side of the bed sinking and tries to open his eyes to the speaker.

"Come on Kenny." The person says softly removing one of Kendall's hands off his ear. Kendall finally musters the strength and opens his eyes to James' smile

"Come on Kendall. Lying in bed the whole day is not going to help." James gently tugs his hand and wraps his other arm around Kendall's body limping him to the couch.

"Achoo!" Kendall sneezes as James wraps the huge blanket over both of them. "Thank'd James. You should go home James. You're get sick'd."

"And what walk in the cold rain. Psh like that will happen, Kendall. Beside I'm cold too so share the blanket!" James commands smilingly. Kendall just chuckles watching James turn on the TV to the hockey channel.

"YES!" James screams loudly throwing his hands in the air. "It's the new Wild vs. Rangers games. I bet the Wilds are going to win." James ups the volume matching his enthusiastic voice.

"James." Kendall sounds barely reaching the brunette's ear. "James" he repeats reaching out his hand to tug the fidgeting boy. "Can you lower the volume, please?" Kendall coughs.

"Oh sorry Kendall." He lowers the volume by half. "I forgot you're sick."

"It's ok, but can we watch something else that is less noisy?"

"What! No can do Kendork. That is the most epic game ever! And hockey is the perfect cure for a cold." James screams causing Kendall to wince his eyes.

"Fine why don't we do this?" James says softly wrapping his arm around Kendall's shoulder making him lean on his shoulder. "Better. Now my shoulder is covering one ear so you won't hear as much and we can still watch the hockey game."

Kendall chuckles at James' compromise. He closes his eyes and breathes in James' cologne. Even though Kendall's nose is stuffy and barely any air can go through, he still manages to get a whiff of James' cool breezy scent. It calms his headache a bit as he pulls both his legs up and leans closer to James. He closes his eyes not noticing James turning back on the TV.

"Kendall" James nudges his shoulder. "Kendall, wake up."

"Hmm?" Kendall sounds opening his eyes. "Did something happen?"

"No. Sorry Kendall I was supposed to keep you awake so you can get better." James says frowningly rubbing the back of his neck. "But at least the Wilds won." James chuckles sadly.

"It's ok James. I finally fell asleep. I'm feeling much better." Kendall replies. He's not really lying. He does feel a lot better and his headache, the worst symptom, disappeared.

"Are you sure?" Kendall nods his head. "Good, then next time you're sick I'll come over to watch hockey with you. I told you hockey helps"

Kendall smiles. "Thanks James." He yawns loudly. "You mind staying a bit longer and help me sleep."

James smiles and presses replay. "Sure, I'll just rewatch the game."

Kendall hugs James' arm like a pillow. "Thanks James."

**Flashback**

"Jo, I need Hockey." Kendall moans audibly.

"Fine Kendall." She gives up. "Nature is a better cure though but if you want hockey, here you go." She changes the channel.

"Thank'd Jo." He watches the game trying to fall to sleep. Jo walks around the room, arms crossed, until a picture of Kendall catches her eyes.

"Hey Kendall, why are you smiling?" She asks putting the framed picture on the table across the couch. It was a picture of Kendall on the hospital bed smiling with his casted right leg in the air.

"My mom forced me to smile. I don't want to talk about it." He averts giving detail.

"It's weird." She exclaims scanning the photo intently. "I don't see your mom's usual bag in the picture but I do see a hockey duffle bag."

"I was admitted after a hockey accident, ok Jo!" He shouts coldly shocking the girl. "Gosh!"

She sighs, knowing that the cold is not reason for his demeanor. "Do you love me, Kendall, truthfully?"

Sensing something wrong, he asks defensively. "Why do you ask? You know you're my girlfriend."

"You're right, Kendall." She fakes a laugh and smile. She paces around bit thinking, hoping Kendall would have said "yes" to her question though.

"So Kendall…" She pauses looking at his green eyes acutely. "Can I ask you a question? It's really easy and you have to be honest and say the first time that comes to mind. Ok?"

"Sure Jo." He replies drowsily.

"You know I love nature channels. Let's say I'm nature…" She pauses again gritting her teeth waiting to catch the boy off guard. "Who do you love, nature or hockey?" She asks at light speed.

"Hoc" Kendall starts saying but realizes the trap she set. He awkwardly coughs staring at her gritting face hoping she didn't hear that but ultimately he knows she knows. Again, an uncomfortable pause follows as Jo sits down staring at her polished nail nervously scratching the paint off.

"Jo?" Kendall breaks the silence.

She sighs preparing herself for the inevitable statement. "Yeah Kendall?"

"I love hockey." That's the sentence she was waiting for. "I'm sorry. Are you mad?"

"A bit, well I was." She finishes scratching off both her thumbs. "But I knew this was coming."

"When?" He shrieks coughing again.

She picks up her head and leans back hoping her new position will not let the tears flow. "That day Logan said James was wearing your shirt."

She gives up staring at the ceiling as the tears are falling regardless of her up right position and looks at Kendall. "You smiled that sincere smile when you said you would make out with him." She snuffles between words. "You never smiled like that at me and I got so furious that I can't make my boyfriend as happy as him."

"Jo, I'm really sorry."

"No, you're not. I can tell." She asserts. "I can tell when you hug him, want him, laugh with him and kiss him. Kendall you're not good at secrets."

"Was I that obvious?" He starts playing with his fingers.

"More obvious than Carlos is with Logan. What kind of straight boyfriend plays 'extreme touch football'?" She air quotes.

He huffs. "It's fun."

"Please, it's another reason to touch him." They chuckles. She moves closer and wraps her hand between his. "I'm not depressing Kendall." She says reading his mind. She leans on his shoulder and closes her eyes. "A bit broken but some what happy somehow."

"How are you happy?" He whispers resting his head on her.

"I had a great relationship with you. You're trading up; I mean you get 'The Face'." He chuckles. "And even though we aren't together _together_, we still are together as friends, right?"

"I wouldn't want it any other way." He smiles. "Hey Jo, I lied before." He picks up the hospital photo on the table. "My mom didn't force me to smile, I wanted to."

**Flashback**

Kendall is extremely irritated, irked even. He shuffles in the hospital bed trying to stare at the blank TV that is blocked by his hoisted casted leg. His cast reminds him how yesterday, the fist game of the season, he was rammed into the wall and kicked repeatedly but a player on the opposing team. He moans in pain and annoyances that he is out of the game that is currently going on against the same team right now.

Suddenly the door to the room bursts open in a huge crash. He knows his mom opens doors soft and everyone is at the games, so this mysterious person alarms himself.

"Kendall, You best good looking friend is here." The man sings. Kendall definitely recognizes the voice to be James.

"James what are you doing here? You should be in the game tonight." Kendall asks.

"Lighten up. Half your body's in the air." He giggles examining the cast. Kendall doesn't see the humor.

"James, we're going to lose if you don't play."

"Relaxes Mr. Captain. We aren't going to win without you anyways." James replies poking the cast. Kendall winces in pain.

"Stop doing that, James!" He yells probably loud enough to alarm the nurses. Luckily they don't hear it.

James sighs and jumps on the bed laying cross legged, hands behind his face and stares at the ceiling. "You're lucky, you have a cast."

Kendall scrunches his eyebrows angrily together looking like a caterpillar. "Oh sure. Being in pain is _FUN_. I love missing three weeks of hockey." He sarcastically says. "Which by the way, if we lose because you're here, I can't go back to play when I'm better."

"You want to know a secret?" James says nonchalantly throwing an arm around Kendall's head. A vein grows at a corner of Kendall's forehead. "I hate playing hockey."

"Then why play it?" Kendall shouts.

"Hockey is your dream." James says reaching for the TV control. "You play hockey like there is no tomorrow and we never hangout." He turns on the TV to a hockey game.

"I hate messing my hair playing hockey but if you're there, I don't mind it as much. That's why I rather be at the hospital with you than at the stupid game without. But if you want me to…" James gets up but Kendall throws his arm around James.

"No, it's just a game I guess." He blushes. "I give you permission to stay."

James chuckles and leans back against the pillow. "Psh! Like I need permission to stay." He says tightening his arm around Kendall. Kendall smiles and leans his head on James.

"Thanks James."

"No problem, but hey" James gets up and grabs a camera out of his pocket. "One picture. I want to capture Kendall Knight, future captain of the Wilds in a cast in an embarrassing position."

"No James. I hate this enough. I don't want a picture." He pouts, hands covering his face.

"One picture, please? I'll trade you a picture of me so you can have it in your wallet."

"No!" He firmly responds.

"Fine." James grabs his bag and turns around.

"Wait! Where are you going?"

"Home because you won't take one smiling picture."

Kendall sighs and smiles. "Take the picture, jerk." He says through his closed teeth. James grins widely and captures the moment before jumping back on the bed arm around him. "Where is that picture of you, you promise?"

"Relax, I already put a picture there incase you need something to cheer you up. Why do you ask? Do you looooooooove me?" James jokes.

Kendall blushes and glances at the TV before answering. "I love hockey."

**Flashback**

Jo sighs after hearing the story and stands up.

"Wait, Jo. What are you doing?" Kendall asks.

"I think you're better." She smiles and packs her stuff. "Thanks for the story Kendall. I wish I'll meet someone as in love with nature as you are in love with hockey."

"No. You'll find someone better. But until then, stick around." He offers.

"Nah. I think I need to go now. I've been here for five hours. I think that's enough." She walks towards him and presses her lips to his cheek. "I love you but go get you man." She whispers in his ear before leaving. Kendall smiles that special sincere smile.

**10:00 PM**

Passed their curfew, James gently closes the door and tiptoes to his room until he notices a pair of eyes following him on the couch.

"Kendall, what are you going?" James quietly asks. "You should sleep. You're sick."

"I can't sleep. Beside, I promised you that I will wait for you every night to make sure you're safe." Kendall says smiling at the brunette as he walks over to sit next to Kendall. "And I can't sleep."

James sighs and asks. "What can I do to make you sleep then?"

Kendall turns on the TV and replay the afternoon game. "You want to watch the game with me?"

"Are you sure?" James cocks an eye. "Wouldn't you rather watch the nature channel to sleep?"

Kendall shakes his head. "No, I love hockey. It's my dream." He snuggles closer to James.

"Ok." James replies throwing his arm around Kendall, replicating their position five years ago.

Kendall's eyes quickly flutter with drowsiness. He yawns into James' shirt pulling his legs into his body. "Hey James?"

"Yeah Kendall?" James shifts his view to the tired boy.

"I think I know now. I"

"Wait Kendall." He quickly cuts. "Let's wait until tomorrow when you're better."

"Ok James." Kendall says falling asleep. He mumbles three words and James' face went pale.

"Night Kendall." He says caressing Kendall's shoulder having a solemn expression on his face.

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><p>What's with the face, James? lol<p>

Again sorry for the chapter =[. I'll being reproofread and fixing. Please review =].


	5. My Turn to Wait

Sorry if this chapter is not good or up to par. It's was really hard writing this and connecting it emotionally to past chapter.

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><p><em>Italics <em>**are thought, ****and **""** are dialogue**

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><p>Disclaimer: I don't own them. Interesting life if I do...<p>

BTW THIS IS A EVENTUALLY SLASH of KAMES. DON'T LIKE, DON'T READ. But do try =].

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><p><strong>Chapter 5 – <strong>My Turn to Wait<strong>**

**Back story** – This happens throughout the scenes of chapter 10 of illogicality. Just know Logan is mad at Carlos, yelled at Kendall for talking to him about love and James is furious with Logan leaving the band.

"Let him go, James. We shouldn't stop him." These are the last words Kendall said as he watches the anger boiling in the brunette's face.

Without a word, James groans, flicks his wrist shooting Kendall's hand in the air harshly and goes to sit on the couch crossing his arms. Kendall sighs in relief that James didn't try to break Logan's bedroom door much less try to break the soon to be doctor. Kendall grabs two cups of coffee on the table and sits next to him.

"You didn't finish your coffee." He whispers pushing the cup to his angered friend bumping his shoulder with his. James tightens his arms on chest. "Please drink it James. You love coffee and it helps you relax."

"Kendall, I 'm too mad at you and Logan for coffee to be able to help. And I remember coffee will cause break outs."

"And I still will think you're the hottest guy out there." Kendall smiles and raises his bushy eyebrows in a comforting manner. James moans but eventually takes the cup and sips the black drink. "That's a good boy."

James finishes half the cup before rests it on his lap. "Kendall why did you tell Logan to go follow his dreams? You do know that my dream is here right?"

Kendall loses his smile looking into the once clear eyes that are now misty. "Because you're stronger than that." James raises his head facing Kendall questioningly. "Logan needs to be in a place where he is safe and happy and we all know that that is a school or better yet an IVY league."

"Kendall, I was talking about me. I know I sound selfish and all but doesn't my dream count too? Why do you always pick Logan's side and never mine?"

Kendall sighs again. "James, I'm sitting here with you aren't I?" He wraps his arms around him pulling him in a hug letting James rest his head on his chest. "I'm telling you, you're the best singer, best actor, best model, best whatever is out there. Logan is not as well rounded as you are but the one really good thing he is the best at is studying. We have to support him."

"But he is breaking BTR." He mumbles.

"But he is not breaking Big Time Rush, the four best friends from Minnesota. We might be far apart, but that will never stop us from being friends." Kendall stokes the back hair on James' head. "Isn't friendship more important than the band?"

James sighs and gets up. "I guess but I'm not ready to forgive him. I still hate him but I won't try to kill him, ok Kendall?"

Kendall smiles in victory. "That's all I wanted to hear."

James groans and starts walking to their bedroom. "Wait James. Where are you going?"

"I'm going to bed and sleep this nightmare away." He sulks making Kendall feeling horrible.

"Nope." He grabs his wrist. "We are going to the pool to tan and play games to cheer you up. "

"Kendall, I rather sulk by myself."

"And I rather sulk with you, my more than best friend." Kendall smiles the brightest smile possible.

Reluctantly, James agrees. "Fine Kendall lets go the pool. But I'm not swimming. I rather lay on a beach chair."

"That's perfectly fine." Kendall replies. James flicks his wrist again, casting Kendall's hand to fly as they walk out the door. Kendall contorts his face sensing something wrong with James, something hidden behind his hatred of Logan. Kendall huffs silently following James out the door.

Once they get out of the apartment, after Kendall locks the door he joins James at looking at their crying friend sitting on the floor with his legs to his chest and face buried in his arms.

"He hates me. He hates me." Carlos repeats incessantly not noticing James and Kendall watching his whimpers. "I lost him. I lost him."

Kendall falls to the floor resting a hand on Carlos' shoulder. "Carlos it going to be ok." He babies.

Suddenly Carlos swiftly turns fisting Kendall's shirt with both hands and pulls Kendall's chest to his face. "Kendall. I can't lose him. I need him or I can't live." He cries earning a scoff from the tall brunette. Kendall sharply stares at James' reaction.

"You don't need him." James says rather coldly. "Why does everyone care for him?" He shouts recalling all his hatred.

Kendall wraps Carlos into a tighter hug letting the tears soak his shirt. "Because everyone cares about each other's dream, James." Kendall says staring at the arm crossed brunette. "This is his dream and Logan deserves it." He reminds.

"Humph." James sounds back. "In case you don't notice the crying baby in your arms who shouldn't be crying because Logan doesn't deserve his tears, is dying because of him."

"And I notice that Logan still loves him." Kendall quickly adds hopefully calming down the love sick boy.

"You mean it Kendall." Carlos asks crying less now. "Logan loves me."

"Yes." Kendall says while James shakes his head "no" in the background. Kendall senses it and sighs. "Carlos, go talk to him. Logan needs you now and you need him. Tell him how sorry you are and just be a good friend to him. Ok?" Carlos nods in agreement and stands up rubbing his eyes.

"Thanks Kendall. You are the best leader I will ever follow." Carlos walking back in the apartment leaving Kendal smiling in the hall. But once the door closes behind him, the smile disappears.

"Why did you have to do that James?" He asks softly. "Why did you have to be cold to Carlos? You know are fragile and sensitive Carlos is."

"Well maybe Carlos needs to grow up and learn that Logan is a horrible person."

Kendall moves closer to James and tries to put his hand on James' shoulder but he slaps it off. Kendall sighs. "No. The one thing I like about Carlos is his childish personality. He wears his heart on his sleeve and I want to be like him one day. So if you think Carlos is bad because he is naïve, then you're calling me a horrible person."

"Fine, I'm sorry Kendall." James admits. "I'm still frustrated at Logan and hate Carlos for mention his name. God can we go a day without the stupid genius being mentioned?"

"Deal." Kendall says as James cocks a brow. "I will not say Logan for the rest of the day. Fair?" He says reaching out his hand for a handshake.

James sighs and gives up. "Deal Kendall." He answers stuffing his hand in his pocket walking around the blond now confused boy. _This is the third time_, Kendall thinks as he follows James to the pool.

**At the pool**

"That one." Kendall says pointing his finger to a brunette girl while sipping his smoothie.

"Ummm, three and a half." James responds.

"What!" Kendall yells. "She's definitely a six. And that is me being mean. She could be an eight on a good day."

James slurps his drink. "Her calves are huge, I see fat on her nonexistence abs, she has pimples and she walks funny. Three and a half is my final answer."

"WOW James." Kendall says laughing at his friend ridiculous scoring system for judging people. "Ok fine. This is a hard one. Her." Kendall smirks pointing at Camille.

"Ten." James quickly answers causing Kendall to spit take his drink.

"What!" Kendall shouts in surprise. "Camille is good but a ten? You have a mess up grading system."

Camille notices them on the chair and waves. They wave back while Camille unexpectedly waves again to James flirtatiously. James follows suits cause Kendall's brows to rise in question.

But before Kendall can ask, James points to another girl. "Her, Kendall."

Kendall looks and waves at her, his ex girlfriend. "Seven point nine."

"No ten?" James turns in shock. "Jo is going to dump you." He mocks.

"We broke up yesterday so it's fine. Jo is fine with it and we want to stay friends." He smiles earning an awkward forced smile from James.

"So you have no ten's in your book now, Kendall?"

"I have one and only one." He smiles brighter than all the stage lights at their concerts.

"Who?" James moves closer.

"You're the only one who deserves my ten." James chuckles and blushes. "So what do you give me?"

James huffs. "That is a secret for only me to know." He winks.

Kendall laughs. "Fine what if I show you a fun time day, will you tell me?"

"That depends. What are we going to do today?"

Kendall winks back and grabs James' hand. "You'll see."

"Umm Kendall." James sounds pulling back his hand. "You can show me without hold my hand." Kendall frowns and starts walking out the hotel with James following.

**At the beach**

"Humph. I should have known, Kendall. That you would bring me here." James smiles, staring at the endless water. He watches the gentle waves crash on sandy shore and the all the shimmering diamonds in the water made from the light of the sun. He closes his eye listening to the melody of the seagulls and breathes deeply in the intoxicating smell of the ocean.

Kendall chuckles and smiles at how the peaceful water can pacify the annoyed teen. "I'm glad you're happy James. Now come on." He runs ahead gesturing James to come with his hands. "I brought a lot of toys to play with on the beach and we only have three hours."

James smiles softly and walks ahead with his hand in his pocket. "What are we going to play first?" He asks watching Kendall reaching in the bag of toy he just brought.

"Beach volleyball." Kendall exclaims finding the ball. "But now we need two people to play with."

"Hey you two!" James shouts to two guys shocking them.

"Ummm James?"

"Get over here and play beach volleyball." James commands, scaring the two teens further, including Kendall.

"James they don't have to play if they don't want to."

"Lol, that's fine." One of the boy answers. "We love volleyball but his voice just shocked us. By the way, I'm Lenard and he's Carl."

"Hi guys!" Carl shouts jumping up and down. "I love volleyball and I love playing and"

"Stop it Carl." Lenard says binding him in a hug. "Sorry he acts like a five year old when he eats hot dogs."

"That's fine. Let's play." Kendall ends.

The game went smoothly. Both teams rack a pretty even amount of point but eventually Lenard and Carl win.

"Good game guys." Lenard pants reaching out his hand. Kendall goes to shake but Carl jumps his friend from behind and hugs him to the floor.

"I win! I win!" He shouts excitedly. Kendall and James stare at them awkwardly as Lenard jumps and carries Carl over his shoulder.

"Sorry guys, I think we should go before Carl hyperactively kills you guys too."

"No problem." James replies. "It was nice playing with you even though we should have won." He smirks.

"What!" Carl shouts but Lenard muffles him.

"Bye guys!" Lenard swiftly says carrying a mumbling Carl away.

"Hey James. You want to go to my favorite place on the beach?" James nods and follows behind Kendall right under the pier. They take a seat on the smooth pair of rocks. "Those two guys are… interesting." Kendall states.

"Maybe, but they were really, really good at volleyball. That Carl guy is loaded with energy."

"He is but Lenard is the smart one who told him all the plans. I bet we can beat them in a rematch."

"There is no way we can beat them?"

"We just need to be more connected. They won because they work hard as a team and they seem pretty close."

"Oh good. I thought I was the only one generalizing two best guy friends are in love with each other."

"Maybe some are." Kendall replies reaching for James' hand but once again James pulls away and stands up. Now surpassing his threshold, Kendall asks him. "James is there a problem with me?"

"What?" James answers shockingly. "No there's no problem."

"Then why won't you let me touch you?" Kendall stands up and walks in front of him staring right at his eyes.

James backs up. "You sound like a prev Kendall."

"Stop it James. You won't hold my hand or let me put my hand on your shoulder. Is there something wrong with me?"

"No no see." James says touching Kendall hand slightly. "I can touch you. There is no problem."

"Football." Kendall says.

"What?"

"Play extreme touch football."

"No Kendall I hate that game."

"No you love it. We play it all the time and NOW you hate. Why James?" Kendall walks toward James causing him to trip onto a rock. "Why James?"

"Because I don't want someone to touch me if I'm not his boyfriend." James states watching Kendall stand still hovering over him. "Kendall, I'm sorry but I can't do all of this stuff with you if you're not with me and you can't be with me." He adds looking down at his fingers.

"Well good then." Kendall replies kneeling on one knee surprising James.

"What are you"

"James I know now." He interrupts.

"Stop Knight!" James yells. "Get up!" He shifts his eyes looking if people were around.

"No James. It's my turn to talk and I know now. I love you." Kendall grabs and holds tightly his hands. "I love you, James Diamond. The only ten in my book. The only man I dream of being with. The reason why I can tell all the pretty people that"

"I'm taken!" James shouts shocking the kneeling blonde. "I'm taken Kendall. I have a girlfriend." He starts to tear.

"What, I mean who?" Kendall stutters dropping his hands

"Camille." He whispers barely audibly.

"When did this happened?"

"Last week during the summer model shoot. I met Camille crying over Logan, the worst guy in the world. And we bonded. And we found out we have a lot in common."

"What do you have in common? You guys have nothing in common." Kendall shouts.

"We both have broken hearts."

"That's only one thing. That's not a lot on common." He says getting up to face the water.

James' head falls and stares his fingers. "That's enough for me. That's enough for us. We talked about how Logan broke her heart because he is horrible dream breaking, heart breaking"

"Ok James. I know you hate Logan." He interrupts. "Get to the point."

"And I talked about how everyday my heart breaks more and more waiting for your answer."

"But I know now James." He whispers holding in his tears staring at the now orange sky.

James walks over and wraps his arms around him feeling the trembles. "I know but I couldn't wait forever. I'm sorry." He whispers in his ear before breaking away. "We should go home now."

The walk home was long and full of silent. Every now and then Kendall and James would share glances and quickly avid their eyes. Any moment where their hands touch slightly or because they love to swings their arms while walking, they jumped as if the floor was on fire. Saying the walk was awkward was to say the least until they reached the front door.

"Wait James." Kendall finally speaks. "You still didn't tell me my score."

He groans. "Why do you want to know?"

"Because I told you, you are a ten. And a ten is only for the one person you're in love with. So what am I?"

"9.99." James answers. "You're not a ten anymore." He says opening the door inviting Kendall in to lock the door behind them. But just after he finishes locking the inside lock, Kendall crashes his lips on his. "Kendall what are you doing?" He shouts trying to push the strong blonde off.

"Earning the .01 back." Kendall says in between the many kisses he place on James.

"I have a girlfriend. Stop it Kendall." He shouts pushing Kendall off but falls to the floor with Kendall still holding onto his shirt.

"I love you James. Please love me." Kendall asks kissing James' neck. James is about to respond but instead closes his eye remember how much he misses Kendall's touch and the way it makes him fill blissful.

"Kendall?" A weak cry emits from the couch stop both teens. Kendall releases a barely audible groans dropping his head to the floor.

"Go Kendall, he needs a leader." James says getting up and walking to the bedroom.

"No. He needs us." Kendall grabs James wrist forcefully and drags him to the couch. Kendall lets go of James to the left of Carlos and Kendall sits on the opposite. He pulls Carlos into a half hug letting Carlos fist and cry on his shirt.

"I can make him stay." Carlos cries softly. James' face lights up as he swiftly leans on Carlos.

"What Carlos! I knew you have power over that antisocial book worm." James muses smiling widely.

"But I don't want to." Carlos snuggles closer to Kendall. 'Well not anymore."

"What! No Carlos." James yells in surprise.

"James, stop it." Kendall pleads gently rubbing Carlos' back.

"No. Logan is destroying everything and Carlos can fix it." He says excitedly. "And you can stop your pain too, little Carlos." He whispers to into Carlos' ear.

Carlos shakes his head. "I rather cry in pain every night for him."

"WHY?" James screams scaring Kendall. "Why would you do that for the pathetic creep of a band mate?"

"Because I love him." Carlos whispers into Kendall's shirt. "I know now that if I really love him, I promise to let him go. Sorry James."

"What about your dreams of being with him. Doesn't your dream count?" James retorts stuttering his words.

He shakes his head. "I love him. His dreams are my dreams. James, I love him too much to stop him now even if he hates me."

Kendall sighs, watching James trying to absorb everything Carlos says. He caresses Carlos some more. "Go to sleep Carlos, you seem to be crying the whole day."

"Thank you Kendall, James." He says drifting into a sleep in Kendall's arms. Eventually Carlos lightly snores against Kendall's body.

Kendall smiles looking at James. "So what do you think?"

"I guess… If Carlos is able to forgive Logan for leaving, I should too." He says finally feeling remorse in his feeling.

Kendall smiles. "That's good James." He says giving Carlos a quick comforting squeeze.

James smiles, watching Carlos snuggling closer to Kendall's squeeze. "It makes sense why he is in love with Carlos. Carlos is kind of cute when he is sleeping."

Kendall chuckles, trying not to wake up the sleeper. "Or with Carlos sleeping between us, we look like happy parents."

"Don't start Kendall." He says coldly not wanting to return to this fight.

Kendall breathes in a long breath. "James we have to talk. I need to know truly how you feel." He changes the subject, giving James a stern look. "Let's have some closure on this."

"Fine Kendall." He groans. "What do you want to talk about?"

"Did you really get mad at Logan this morning or is there something else?"

"Of course I did. I hated him."

Kendall cocks his head. "James, truthfully look deep down. Were you really mad at him?"

"No. I was holding a grudge against you." He finally reveals. "I hated how you care for him and how you're so fixated against me. You won't agree with me. How can I love you if you won't agree with me?"

"So this is not about Logan ruining your dream?" Kendall makes sure.

James gets mad. "Are you listening? I don't care. I just want you to be with me."

Kendall smiles rubbing circles on Carlos' back. "I love you too James."

"Stop it Kendall. I shouldn't love you."

"I really do and I can't let you love Camille."

"Well if you love me, you'll let me go." Kendall's smile falls hearing the pain in his voice. He remembers the dinner James joked about his eyebrows, wondering if James is testing his love for him again. Kendall shakes his head knowing what he must do.

"Fine James." Kendall replies causing James to stare baffled. "I promise not to stop you from dating Camille if you really want her."

"Wait what!" James shouts in surprise. "You were so adamant about get together and just talking for a few minutes, you change your mind. You're not going to fight me?"

"I guess you're just like Carlos is to Logan, I do whatever you say. Beside, I never fought you." He chuckles at his lie. "Well not a fight this big and Carlos is right. If I love you I'll let you go."

"Kendall I'm really sorry." James shakes his head.

"It's my turn to wait." Kendall says causing James to cry. "You waited long enough, now it's my turn."

"Move on Kendall." He commands. "Waiting is painfully. There are so many painful nights."

"And if I love you, I rather wait and endure the pain than move on without you." Kendall smiles truthfully holding back his tears.

"Thank you Kendall." He softly says. "Ten."

"What?"

"You're a ten. I love you but I need a break from our relationship. I'm sorry."

"I understand." Kendall replies staring at James' smile happily.

"Kendall?" Katie calls from the hallway walking towards them.

"Can't sleep?" Kendall asks gaining a nod from the girl.

"Come here Katie." James says patting his lap. "Carlos is on Kendall's, you can sleep on my." He offers. Katie sluggishly walks to James and sits on his lap leaning her head on his chest.

"Thanks James." Katie whispers as she falls asleep. 'Good night guys."

"Good night Katie." They both say before they join Katie and Carlos in sleep.

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><p>Writing gets harder with each chapter. Please review.<p>

BTW, after this chapter there is no need for back story. Kames is it's own story now.


	6. All of Your Dreams Come First

"If I rule the world, I throw all my money like confetti "- Interesting. I like the song.

BT Break up is pretty good. Although, being a cargan shipper, I wish there was a bigger back story to the helmet but oh well.

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><p>Chapter 6 – All of Your Dreams Come First<p>

It has been three days since Logan left to New York, breaking Carlos and three days since James told Kendall he is dating Camille, breaking Kendall. Three is a new record for the guys. Normally, one day, two days top and everything is back to normal but this time, time isn't helping.

Kendall has been suffering, watching James openly express his dating life with Camille. Of course James said he can keep it a secret, calling it a "secret affair" if it helps Kendall not suffer but Kendall said lying will hurt him more. That is not true now.

"Yea sweetie. I like going to the park." James giggles into phone pacing the living room. "Sure the park is the perfect place for acting practice." He smiles.

Kendall sighs softly pretending to watch the TV with Carlos.

"I'm still finding a model agency but it's good. I love my free time."

Kendall sighs again pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Are you ok, Kendall?" Carlos asks concernedly.

"Of course I am." He whispers under James' conversation. "I broke up with Jo and told him I love him and now I, now I"

"Know what it feels to wait?" Carlos whispers again watching James go in his bedroom before returning his gaze to his suffering friend. "How does it feeling being me now?" He asks leaning on Kendall.

"It sucks." He chuckles. Carlos punches him back. "I guess love sucks."

"At least he knows."

"How is that good? I told him and he rejected me." Kendall rests his head on Carlos'.

"Because you finally did what you want." Carlos smiles. "I'm proud of you. You are the leader I want to follow for the rest of my life."

"Thanks Carlos." They smile finally feeling good.

"Hey Kendall, I'm throwing out the trash. Do you have any?" Katie announces walking in the living room.

"Nope. Thanks Katie." Kendall says eying James walking out of their room.

"Hey guys. I'm going out tonight. Ok?"

Kendall nods trying to speaking but staring at James' eyes, no lying words can escape.

"Ok James, we hope you have fun." Carlos lies for him.

"Thanks. I got to go. I'm already late." He squeals and runs to the door.

"Kendall!" Katie screams stopping the rushing teen. "Kendall why is this in the trash?" She asks holding an envelope similar to Logan's.

"Throw that out Katie." He sternly commands. "That is my mail."

"No, this is important."

"What is it Katie?" James ask walk to her.

"This is a letter from the coach of the Wilds asking for Kendall." Katie says angrily surprising him. "Why did you hide it, Kendall?"

"That is none of your business." Kendall yells grabbing the letter from her hand. But as Kendall walks to his room, James grabs and reads it.

"Kendall, the coach is asking you to come to Minnesota to train for a pre-preposition for the Wilds." James states. "Why did you throw this out?"

Kendall grabs the paper back. "Because I need to stay here. Everyone is happy here. And everyone's dream is here. Therefore I'm happy here."

"Your dream is there." Carlos jumps up frowning at the caring blond. "You need to take this opportunity."

"You said opportunity like this comes once in a lifetime." James exclaims. "How did you get a letter from the coach?"

"Logan did it. We talked three months ago about how we dreamt of being doctors and hockey players instead of singers. I guess Logan took it upon himself to send the coach a video of my plays." Kendall explains. "But I'm not going."

"Kendall, hockey is your dream. We have to go back to Minnesota." Katie adds.

"Katie, your dream is here, James' dream is here. I'm going to stay here because I promise to make of your dreams come true first."

"So you will never have your dream come true?" Carlos frowns.

"I can wait."

"No you can't!" James screams. "Waiting is hard Kendall. You have to stop waiting for me and go."

"What if I want to wait for us?" He yells back.

Carlos grabs Katie's arm and drags her into her room. "Ok Katie, I think we got to go somewhere else."

"This is a once in a lifetime opportunity and I know deep down you want to take it." James says.

Kendall waits to hear Carlos slam the door before talking. "I told you, I will wait no matter what because I love you. I am giving this up because it's just stupid team."

"You never called your dream stupid before!" James yells back.

"Well maybe there is someone more important in life than the Wilds."

"Stop it Kendall! I have a girlfriend and you have your dreams in your hand." He points to the letter.

"Why are you being nice to me about my dreams?" Kendall retorts. "You never wanted Logan to follow his."

"Because you're different Kendall I still…"

"Still what?" He presses.

"I still love you." He whispers. "I still care about you more than anything. So you have to go."

Kendall walks to shaking brunette. "I want to be here with you. I want to see you everyday. I don't need the Wilds, I need you." He says before crashing their lips together.

James leans in accepting Kendall's passionate lips but eventually pushes Kendall's chest back. "Kendall, I can't. I have a girlfriend." He frowns watching Kendall shifting his eyes away from him.

"Aren't you going to be late for your date, James?" Kendall sternly says eying the door. James sighs and walks out slowing closing the door.

He walks down the hallway hands stuff in his pocket. He should be thinking about things he is going to do with his girlfriend but instead he wonders how life got turned upside down.

_It's crazy, right? In the span of three days, all four dreams end. In three days, they aren't big time rush anymore, just four distanced maybe-not-even friends. _

He stops at the brunette's door and sighs before knocking twice.

"James!" Camille screams wrapping her arms around his neck. "So what do you want to do tonight? The park is beautiful. I heard of a new restaurant." She asks excitedly.

"You mind if we just watch a movie tonight? I rather stay in." James fakes a smile hiding his thoughts.

"Sure. Anything is fine." She says pulling his hand and leading him to the couch. "I don't have any good movies but we can rent something."

"Any movie is fine." James falls into the couch waiting for the blank TV to change. Camille jumps down on the couch falling into his arms.

"You want a comedy or action or mystery or"

"Romance." James cuts, surprising the brunette.

"Romance? I thought you hate that kind of movie. You said chick flicks are for people who don't understand love and dreams." Camille raises her brows questioning his choice.

Truthfully, that is why James wants it. "I guess, tonight is one of those nights."

Camille sighs, turning off the TV. "Ok James, what's wrong? And don't tell me nothing because I know something is up."

"Really nothing Camille." He lies. "I really just want to watch something different."

"I told you how Logan and I broke up right?" She adds lifting his arm off her shoulder. "He had a tone, an 'I'm not interested in you anymore' tone and I'm getting the same feeling with you James."

"That is not true. I was so happy when you called. We basically giggled the whole time." James says defensively.

"And now you're defensively." She frowns. "James, I know both of us are heart broken and it makes sense for us to date but honestly, I think you still have feeling for whoever dumped you."

James tries to open his mouth but no words come out.

"So who is she?" Camille asks, suddenly frowning. "If I can't be your girlfriend, at least I can be your friend, right?"

"Why? Logan broke you and now I just broke you. Why would you be so nice?" He questions.

"Because I should have supported Logan. I was a bitch writing horrible things about him in my journal, ripping pictures of him and just cursing whenever I saw him." She cries. "I should have been happy but now I lost a good friend and I rather have you guys as friends than haters."

James pulls her in a hug. "Kendall is leaving." He opens. "He is going to leave to join a hockey team. He's going to leave me." He cries tears falling on the girl's hair.

"That doesn't sound like Kendall. He would never leave btr."

"I going to make sure he leaves even if he doesn't want to. He should finally follow his dream."

"I'm sorry James."

"No. It's fine. If I love him, I support him right?" He smiles.

"Right." She chuckles backs. "Look at us? We are crying like girls instead of enjoying a nice movie."

James laughs. "Well pick the sappiest, girliest movie out there and let's watch it a million times."

"Sounds fun."

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